You've got to read this.

It's OK to go to a luncheon for obesity awareness.

a LUNCHEON for OBESITY AWARENESS.

Today I'm going to a LUNCHEON to discuss OBESITY. The luncheon features a DESSERT hour afterward. Let's just recognize that this is ridiculous. Let's note that we should probably be having a WALK for obesity awareness. Or a hand out of DIET PILLS for obesity awareness. Maybe they'll bring in some fat kids for us to look at to shame us into not eating the lunch provided. They probably should have used the money they're spending to buy a few hundred people lunch on an exercise bike. Or obesity awareness literature. Or some sort of genetic research that will prevent humans from storing fat cells. Or to invent a time machine to go back and NOT invent high fructose corn syrup and pre-packaged meals.

I'm just putting it out there. This is ridiculous. I'm going to pour a bucket of pig's blood on the key note speaker as a protest.And then I'll go have a piece of chocolate cake.

Yum.
Pig's blood.