Strange Roommates

Speaking of being a Slarvemoor, have I ever told you about my worst neighbors of all time? Psych, I know I haven't because I checked. Actually, that's a lie...I didn't check, but my memory is like a steel trap and I know that I never told you.

I've had a bunch of weirdo roommates over the past 8 years. Tiff-Dawg with her cyber games and 7pm lights out policy? Hallie with her spongebob sheets, corona poster and mexican rap music? Ashley who moved out without telling me...and of course there was Memphis.

But I want to take a moment to pay homage to my weirdo suitemates when I was a college sophomore. We had nothing in common, except the shared bathroom. Which I cleaned. Which they defiled to the highest degree.

Their room was filled, three feet high, with dirty clothes and garbage. They had tunneled a path to the bathroom door, their hall door and their bunk beds. The tunnel was about one foot wide. Moldy garbage and dirty underwear at shoulder level. They had several pets, including a few gerbils, a few fish, a temporary cat and a snake. The snake lived under my bed while I was in Florida for spring break.

One time, a gerbil died, and they left it. For weeks.

Their alarm clock would go off for hours at a time. All day, even. Sometimes they'd be busy sleeping through it, sometimes they were no where to be found.

They were odd birds. They were smelly. They didn't go to class and they didn't seem to have a social life. I haven't spoken to them since the day we moved out, but for all the sucky roommates I've had, I'd venture to say they were the friendliest..


I have plenty of roommate stories to share. Perhaps someday I will.

Friday, again.