A Pet Man

I met this person, who is a boy. He is a nice boy and sometimes we hang out.

But only sometimes. And looking after a grown man-child for two plus years makes me hesitant to adopt another one.

Ah, boys. They're like little pathetic puppies sometimes, aren't they? But they're like moody, stand-offish cats, too. Maybe I need a hamster. Hamsters just mind their own business, but are cute and have no choice but to play with you when you want them to. And they're probably not any stinkier than boys.

Or a fish. Fish are just as disposable as boys. Pick one up for 59 cents, take care of it for awhile. It dies on you. You flush it down the drain, and tomorrow you can go spend another 59 cents on another pointless fish.

I think I'm going to go buy a tarantula. Who wants to party at my house?

I promise, I'm not as downtrodden about this situation as I would have you believe.