Total Panic Mode

What do you do when your FRIEND says "we need to talk"?

TOTAL PANIC MODE, that's what. What on earth could a friend have to say that warrants a special conversation? Is she breaking up with me on behalf of our mutual friends? Is she telling me she thinks I'm pregnant?

That I need to work on my personal hygiene? That I'm really ugly and she suggests I seek professional help for it?

That my life is a mess, she heard I'm getting fired, she thinks I might have contracted an STD?

Maybe she just wants to say something nice...I won the lottery and want to give my winnings to you. Or I think you should be a model, and I've already lined up some photo shoots for you.

Maybe she thinks I'm ruining my reputation with this silly blog. Maybe I should stop writing. Maybe SHE'S pregnant and wants to tell me individually because she wants to offer me her first born, or ask me to decorate the nursery with her?

Maybe she knows something about Drummer, like he's actually a serial killer or was in kahoots with the likes of Penn State...


Maybe I...


Wait.
Bulletin.
Not everything is about me.
Get it together, iamStephanie.