No matter how nice or attractive you are, transition lenses make you look like the pictures of Pervy Uncle Lenny from 1973.
I get it. They're functional (sort of). They keep you from suffering through contacts or purchasing sunglasses that will get lost. They slowly take away the pain of UV rays on your eyeballs and slowly allow you to see again when indoors.
But they're creepy. And ugly. And barely worse than sticking your finger in your eye to put in a contact. And no real human should have them. If you want to get laid, don't wear transition lenses. My dear friend Casey used to have transition lenses. Girls were never chasing him. He was sad. And then, he stopped wearing transition lenses, because I teased him relentlessly. And then? Then, bitches were all up on him. Not a joke. Now he's about to be a dad because that's how much a girl wanted to be with him.
All because he stopped wearing Uncle Lenny's perv frames.
Heed my advice, friends. Wear not transition lenses. No matter how appealing they seem. Don't sacrifice your natural, modest pervy tendencies for super-ultra-mega pervy tendencies.
That's all. And listen to more Amy Winehouse in your daily life. RIP, man...RIP.
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| Although she might be a cute girl, it's impossible to know. Are you nervous to look into those half-veiled eyes? I am. |
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