A Thursday Freak-Out

How much do you plan?

Earlier this week, I made a 5 year plan for me and Jake. It's very scary. If he goes to grad school next fall like he plans, then when would be have time for a wedding? Would I move to Cleveland, or stay here? Keep my job, buy one of the houses for which I could get special loans? If I stayed here, we would be living apart as newlyweds! Would we even like each other after leading separate lives for three years? But we don't want to live in Cleveland, do we? No. We don't. So do we wait until January of 2016 to plan a wedding? I don't want to have a five year long engagement. That seems ridiculous to me. And he said he wants to have kids before he's 35. If we wait until 2016 to get married, he'll be 32. And I'll be 30. Is that too long for me to wait? Is it smart to have kids while he's in grad school? Lots of people do it. Is it smart to have a wedding while he's in grad school? Lots of people do it. But, we won't have any money.

Is this unrealistic to think about, or is it good planning? Am I over analyzing and being anxious, or do we need to plan out these things? Oh my.

Deep breaths. Do not have a panic attack about this. (Note, I've never had a panic attack.) Don't worry, I already told Jake about these thoughts yesterday, in a steady stream of high-pitched, run-on sentences.

Much like they are presented here. Too much, Internet? Let me know if I should be keeping this to myself. My sensor is off at the moment.