Running Away from my Fat(e).

Bad news. I'm getting kinda fat. Not obese or anything. And I still look bangin'. But, you know, my clothes are fitting a little weird and my hips are approximately 500 miles across. And I'm not one to hate on hips, but mine seem to have had a growth spurt.

Maybe it's just biology saying "Hey, Female. You're supposed to be having babies right about now, so you need to make room." A smidge gross, probably also a smidge true. But never fear, Dad (who, I think, reads what I'm writing sometimes). None of those shenanigans. Gotta make my millions first.

Is width-biology something one can combat at the exercise place? I hear it isn't. ("Eat what you want now, because that metabolism won't last forever!" Thanks for the tip, judgey lady at the grocery store...I eat salads!) Zumba and I are having a great weakass-cardio relationship, and I know it isn't enough. How can I get inspired by exercise? The gym is so boring.

Now that I'm 25, I'm old and fat. Stupendous! Next time you see me I'll be wearing a spandex unitard, sweatbands on my wrists, leg warmers and my Adidas tennies. I'll be running. Away.

These pictures are fitting for the Wednesday before Halloween: