Why No States Should Have Been Added after 1860

No reasonable states were admitted to the Union after 1860. Know why? Because, because, because, LOOK AT A MAP. After 1860, all the territories were drawn with doohickeys that let us draw straight lines.

Which means the states end up like this:



Did you know that's Colorado? Or did you just think it was a square? It's OK, Colorado is very easily confused for a Sesame Street lesson. The reason this is a pebble in my Birkenstock is because of holiday shopping. And dads. Everyone knows that shopping for the patriarch is tricky. And every year, I think "Oh gosh, I should get my dad something cool shaped like Colorado, since that's where he grew up!" and every year I'm disappointed by the square shaped nothingness I find.

Exhibit A: TShirt

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Exhibit B: Cutting Board

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Exhibit C: Artwork

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You may argue that those gifts aren't cool anyway, so chill out, Perry. I'm telling you what- It's a terrible fate during the Pinterest and Esty generation of holiday shopping.

God speed to those of you living in Colorado who are doomed for no cool shapy gifts.

Happy Hanukkah (today is the first full day, of course),
Stephanie